Unit 8: Recognizing Blockages and Barriers

Congratulations! You’ve not only learned how to powerfully visualize a goal, but by now you’ve also come a long way toward accomplishing that goal! This is an exciting time, I’m sure, because if you’ve been doing the coursework as presented, you’ve begun to see some progress being made toward the realization of your goal. You’ve probably also gained some meaningful insights into how you’ve been creating what you didn’t really want and now feel more empowered to create what you do want. Whatever the signs of progress, I know that there are some by now. Take a few minutes to think about these and list on the lines below three recent events or experiences that are signs of progress for you.

1. _______________________________________________________________________

2. _______________________________________________________________________

3. _______________________________________________________________________

Wonderful! Please take a bow for coming this far and being willing to learn how to give yourself something that you really want!

Now that you’ve come this far, however, it’s also highly likely that you’ve experienced signs of progress that don’t seem very exciting or insightful to you—and may not seem like fun at all! In fact, you probably don’t even see them as signs of accomplishing your goal. Instead, you may see them as signs that you really have a problem on your hands and it might be getting worse.

Not to worry! In this unit, we are going to take a look at some of the sometimes unpleasant “side effects” that can occur when you are using creative visualization to create a goal. You will learn how to use these “negative” side effects as guides for recognizing and then removing blockages and barriers that may exist between you and achieving your goal. You will also learn to appreciate blockages and barriers as signs of progress and to recognize the gifts they have to offer—if you know how to look for them.

Cleaning the Turkey Pan

After an inspiring “honeymoon” period with creative visualization, many participants in my classes begin to experience some discouraging or disappointing events in their lives. For example, people working with financial issues might get a huge, unexpected bill that they think they can’t pay, receive a pay cut or experience something else along those lines. People working with relationship issues might have sudden problems flare up with a number of different people. And people who are working to create greater balance and inner peace in their lives may experience some real tests of their ability to keep from falling back into response patterns of worry and overreaction.

When these difficulties occur, participants are often embarrassed to mention to the class what is happening because, after all, we are all supposed to be thinking positively, getting what we want and living in a wonderful world. It’s easy for each of us to think (1) I am are the only one experiencing these problems, (2) there must be something wrong with me, (3) I’m not visualizing correctly, and/or (4) my thoughts are too deeply imbedded to change, so it won’t work for me.

Because I know something like this is happening for at least part of the class, I gently poke and pry into the events of everyone’s week. Once I’ve gotten one person to share some of what’s been happening, there’s a group feeling of relief as the others recognize that they are not alone! Then I get to chuckle and tell them that these problems mean they are doing everything right, and that this is really good news.

This is good news? Am I serious? How in the world can these unpleasant events be good news? Louise L. Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life, uses a wonderful metaphor to help explain why these unpleasant things appear—often suddenly—in our experience when we use creative visualization. Her metaphor also helps us to understand why these unpleasant events often are necessary and always are good news. In her metaphor, she refers to the discouraging or disappointing experiences as turkey pan experiences.

Have you ever seen what a holiday turkey pan looks like after Mr. Turkey is cooked and removed for serving? Lots of drippings and burned on grease and who knows what all is stuck to the pan—am I right? The best way to get this mess cleaned up is to fill the pan with hot water and soap and allow it to soak for an hour or two. This loosens up the baked-on matter, causing it to lift off the pan and rise to the surface. Some of this mess will absorb water, expanding in size and losing whatever eye appeal it may have once had. If you’ve ever cleaned up a turkey pan, you know that at this stage it looks much worse than it did before you started to clean it! It’s a rubber gloves project for most people. However, even though it looks grosser than ever after soaking, the turkey pan is easier to clean. All the gook can be more easily wiped away and disposed of, and the pan can be made to shine anew.

When we use creative visualization to accomplish a goal, a similar process takes place. New thoughts, images and beliefs (like soap) challenge the old (baked on) thoughts, images and beliefs which get in the way, causing them to “rise to the surface” just like the gook in a soaking turkey pan. The mind knows what it is doing, and knows that you can’t hold two conflicting sets of ideas and expect to get a clear picture! So it causes you to see—in 3-D splendor—the old thoughts and images which are inconsistent with the new information you are feeding it. As you recognize this as your own turkey pan stuff, it becomes much easier for you to clean it away.

Are you guaranteed to have the turkey pan experience? No, because there may not be any real blockages to your success. I will guarantee, however, that once you begin using creative visualization, anything that stands between you and your goal will present itself to you, giving you an opportunity to recognize it and then clear it away.

Examples of Blockages and Barriers

There are a number of blockages and barriers that might be standing between us and what we want. Naturally, some are more common than others. To help increase your understanding in this area, read about some of the more typical saboteurs to success below and explore whether or not you might have any one of these blockages or barriers.*

Fear of Failure

This will surprise no one! In our culture we have had drilled into us the importance of being right. As children, we are shamed in home, school, religious and other settings when we make mistakes, get it wrong, don’t do well, i.e., fail. Many people are taught to think that successful people get that way because they are especially gifted or had special circumstances which gave them an advantage. Sometimes this is true, obviously. However, most of the time, successful people are people who were willing to fail, and failed over and perhaps over again, until they finally got it right—and became a success.

Are you afraid of failing? If so, on the lines below, write down what you are afraid will happen if you fail and where (or from whom) you may have acquired this fear.

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* This section was inspired by my memory of material from an early (1980s?) Lazaris tape.

Not wanting to betray someone

Success may require that we be willing to do better than those around us. Without the full support of friends or family, we may be afraid that they will think we are “leaving them behind,” or making them look like less as we become more. For example, some men may not want to do better than their fathers, because it might make their fathers look bad. Or a woman who works with her best friend on a factory line may feel she is betraying that friendship if she decides to go on to night school to get a better job.

Do you think you might be betraying someone by successfully achieving your goal? If so, write down whom you might betray and how he/she might respond to your success.

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Not really being ready for the responsibility

Sometimes we’d rather fantasize about having something more than we’d actually like to have it. For example, I ask participants in my class to imagine how they would feel if I gave them a suitcase full of money—say $5 million in cash. Their usual first response is, Terrific! I’m ready! Hand it over! Then I ask them to consider what they will do with the money. How will they get it home? Will they drive alone? Will they call someone to come ride with them? Will they worry about being robbed? Where will they put the money? How will they handle the solicitations for donations? Will they spend or invest the money? How? Etc. Most of us have a ready mental plan for what we would do with $10,000 or even $100,000—and will, in time, attract those amounts of money into our lives without massive effort. But when we consider our plan for $5 million (a plan which most of us don’t have—do you?), many realize that being given $5 million sounds a lot more fun than being responsible for it actually is! This doesn’t mean that the participants don’t really want to be wealthy, just that they might not yet be as ready as they thought for that kind of responsibility. (When they are ready—and can answer the above questions—they will create it if it’s what they want.)

Does achieving your goal bring with it responsibilities that you might not yet be ready for? If so, on the lines at the top of the next page, write down any aspects of getting what you want that you might not yet feel ready to take on.

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Feeling that we don’t deserve it

If we are taught anything as children, it’s that we won’t get it if we don’t deserve it. And to deserve it, we must earn it—usually by “paying our dues.” As adults, this message has kept us busy working hard to deserve. Some of us have an idea of when we think we will have “paid enough” and have reached the stage of deservability. Others are so weighed down by childhood shame that unless this belief is challenged, no matter what they do they may never reach a place where they can believe they finally deserve to be happy.

Deservability is actually a given: We deserve simply because we are here, because we were created. If you think about it, lots of people get things they don’t “deserve.” Criminals who should be punished sometimes go free. Employees who deserve a raise sometimes get laid off. Life isn’t about deserving and being fair; life is about being willing. The question isn’t, do I deserve to have it? The question is, am I willing to have it?

Think about your beliefs about deservability. Do you think you must deserve to have your goal before you can achieve it? Is there something you must do to earn it? Or are you willing to have what you want whether you deserve it or not? On the lines below, write down some of your thoughts about your deservability vs. willingness as these ideas relate to your goal.

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Not wanting to give up negative payoffs

It can be hard to accept this about ourselves, but sometimes we get attached to the negative payoffs we receive from a situation the way that it is. In order for a situation to change and improve, we have to give up old, comfortable, familiar negative payoffs and make room for new, more positive ones. For example, I, your teacher, used to be very attached to the negative payoff of martyrhood, especially as it related to my relationships with men. Every time a man “did me wrong,” I could meet with my friends over coffee and we’d compete for the title of being “the most screwed over by her man.” The person who won this title got extra attention and sympathy and even deserved special treatment because of all she had gone though. (Note: We did not consciously do this, and would have denied doing it had anyone confronted us about it. But, looking back, in essence, that’s exactly what we were doing.)

As I worked to change my beliefs about men, I found it difficult at first to stop being a martyr, to stop needing the attention, and to see men simply as other people rather than a collective determined to take advantage of women. I liked being able to blame men for my problems and not having to take responsibility for my own participation in the various dramas. I finally managed to let martyrhood go, however, and I and my wonderful husband of 15 years are both glad that I did! (If I hadn’t given up my martyrhood, I’m sure he would have chosen someone else to be a wonderful husband to!)

Do you think you might be getting some negative payoffs related to your goal that you aren’t ready or willing to give up? What might some of those negative payoffs be? How will your life be different when you give those up? What positive payoffs could you be experiencing instead? Write down your responses to these questions on the lines below.

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Other blockages and barriers you have thought of

On the lines below, make note of any other blockages or barriers that come to mind as a result of doing this exercise.

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Recognizing Blockages and Barriers

Two great ways to recognize our blockages and barriers to success are to (1) ask yourself, “Do I have any resistance to achieving my goal?” and (2) see if any turkey pan stuff is being mirrored to you.

Ask, “Is there any resistance?”

Resistance comes in the form of excuses made in response to situations that seem to stand between you and working on your goal. Some typical examples of resistance are:

¨ you might find it too difficult to find time to do the visualization exercises (I’m too busy…);

¨ you may suddenly lose interest in the project (Who needs to be rich, anyway…);

¨ there may be conflicts or interference which seem to get in the way (How can I work toward my success when my boss is always breathing down my neck?…);

¨ something may happen which you decide is more important and requires you to set your own needs aside (My Aunt Jane really needs me right now…); or

¨ you may decide that there wasn’t a problem in the first place (I thought my marriage was falling apart, but I was just overreacting…).

All of these examples are forms of resistance to changing your experience and achieving your goal. If any of these sound familiar, take some time to write on the lines below about what the blockage or barrier might be that is causing that resistance.

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See if any turkey pan stuff is being mirrored to you.

“Mirroring” is one of the most fascinating aspects of the creative visualization process. Remember that the data (information) that gets through to you matches the data you have stored on your screen. If it doesn’t match to some degree, you simply won’t be able to perceive it.

It has been my experience that blockages and barriers to success that involve thoughts, beliefs and patterns of behavior will often be played out for us to experience, sometimes in a dramatic and attention-getting form. For example, let’s say that Roger’s goal is greater financial wealth. Now, Roger has the habit of “humorously” saying wealth-repelling things like, I’m always a day late and a dollar short, and Good things come to those who can pay for them, seemingly just to make conversation and fit in. If Roger visualizes wealth while continuing to repeat these negative affirmations, he will unconsciously be sabotaging his visualization efforts and draw to himself experiences where he will not have enough money. His negative affirmations will be specifically mirrored back to him to show him a pattern of thinking that he needs to change before he can receive the wealth he is visualizing. For example, he may find one day when it’s not at all convenient that he is literally a day late and a dollar short.

Now, Roger may not recognize that his thoughts are being reflected back to him in this way! He may think that he’s having money trouble because he’s a bad visualizer, or because the negative affirmations are true after all, or because he doesn’t deserve to be wealthy. After completing this unit, he may realize that underlying his beliefs about money and wealth is a core belief about his lack of deservability. As he removes the blockage of “lacking deservability,” he opens a powerful door to changing his experience and letting the wealth he desires in.

Here’s another good example of a mirrored blockage. Suzie created a terrific romantic relationship using creative visualization and is now using the technique to work toward even more relationship success at professional levels. She wants all her relationships to be rewarding, satisfying and fulfilling. She wants relationships in which she enjoys the best of people and they enjoy the best of her.

Shortly after having established this as her goal and picturing what it would look like, Suzie received a sudden visit from two older relatives who lived out-of-state. These relatives sat around her house all day, not asking for anything, just content to sit. This bothered Suzie because she wanted them to get up and enjoy life and people with her. Still they sat, content to be “lumps,” in her assessment. This made her feel guilty about enjoying herself, and the guilt was bothering her greatly—even making her mad. She did not want to feel guilty about wanting something that her two relatives did not want.

Eventually, Suzie realized that the guilt she was feeling in her home environment was mirroring for her the guilt which was preventing her from fully enjoying her relationships with others in her professional life. Somehow, she had bought into the idea that before she could really enjoy unlimited good relationships, others in her life—including her relatives—needed to be in a place where they could also enjoy good relationships. So it’s not at all surprising that these relatives suddenly pop up in her life, wanting to sit and enjoy doing nothing in her home, and giving her all this inner conflict to deal with! At unconscious levels, she attracted this experience to expose a blockage that she needed to remove before she could fully accomplish her goal.

Turkey Pan Exercise

Take a few minutes to consider your own “turkey pan” situation. Have any particularly annoying, troublesome or disappointing events taken place (since you began this course) which may be related to your goal? If so, give yourself time to contemplate the event as a mirror, and see if any ideas come to you as to how this event may be reflecting to you an idea or belief in your consciousness which might be a blockage or barrier.

To help you explore this, describe the event or experience on the lines provided below:

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What thoughts, beliefs or ideas do you hold that the experience might be trying to draw to your attention?

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Removing Blockages and Barriers

One of the best methods I have found for removing blockages and barriers when you discover them is described by the teacher Lazaris (see Appendix A) on one of his earlier taped workshops. (I don’t recall the tape, but I do remember the method!) His method involves four basic steps: recognize, acknowledge, forgive, and change.

Recognize: Recognize that the situation is going on, that the blockage or barrier does indeed exist.

Acknowledge: Acknowledge that it’s YOU doing it, you creating it, you who are responsible for it.

Forgive: Forgive yourself for having the blockage or barrier, and understand that you adopted it because at some point it made sense and seemed to serve a purpose.

Change: Decide that you aren’t going to “do” that blockage or barrier anymore. Pay attention to your thoughts and behaviors, choosing those that are consistent with the new goal, not the old “game.”

It’s really as simple as that! Every time you catch yourself being tempted to fear failure, be a martyr, feel undeserving, avoid responsibility, or whatever your particular blockage or barrier might be, stop and think though the four steps. With practice, just as with pivoting, you’ll strengthen the new behaviors and beliefs and they will become an integral part of the person you are now becoming!

Unit Follow-up Activities

1. Continue to repeat your visualization exercise a minimum of four times each week, charging the image with emotional energy.

2. Make notes in your journal of any additional thoughts or ideas as they come to you about possible blockages and barriers to success.

Go to Unit Nine